


The Trouble of Bards and Romantics

by crankyoldman



Category: Final Fantasy IV
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-28
Updated: 2012-02-28
Packaged: 2017-10-31 20:46:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/348212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crankyoldman/pseuds/crankyoldman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tellah's lessons in courting, or How I Met Your Mother</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Trouble of Bards and Romantics

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JackOfNone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JackOfNone/gifts).



> For her fabulous prompt that won't let the image of young!Tellah being played by Neil Patrick Harris leave my head. Evar.

It was, quite simply, love at first strike.

"Don't you know how to treat a LADY?!" She hit quite literally like a hammer.

He had back then been under the false delusion that all women were soft-spoken, caring, nurturing types with very flowy robe things and very flowy hair and found his manner to be endearing and otherwise causing reactions that were not being hit over the head with his own staff.

He was bewildered that she'd taken his staff in less time than it took him to smile and comment on her posterior, like he had intended on doing.

"Miss, _Madam_ , I meant that as a compliment!"

The second time caused shiny sparkley lights in his vision.

"Keep your FILTHY hands to yourself."

He decided next time he saw her, he was going to duck.

\---

"That doesn't tell me everything. How'd Mom get to _like_ you?"

Anna was very unfortunately a romantic, something that he could tell already and scared him half to death. Fathers always wished for practical and skeptical daughters, not romantics. He hoped that telling her the truth would set her straight. Hopefully.

"That's complicated."

"Tell me!"

\---

He had made sure to wear a helmet, something a sympathetic white mage friend had made for him, and to bring flowers.

"Trash goes in the bin there."

"No, these are for you."

"Weeds?"

The thought crossed his mind that he might have been better served studying a bit more about plants and less about setting things on fire.

"But these are flowers!"

"They're _weeds_ , I have to pull them up all the time." Clearly she was a few levels ahead of him, maybe she could set him on fire too. He'd have to switch tactics.

"So how have--"

But she turned her attention away, and he was left with weeds and a half finished attempt at conversation.

\---

"You sound like you were a real loser, Dad."

"I was only just a Black mage then, sweetheart. Your mother was doing both major types by then, so I guess you're right in a way."

"So what'd she find more interesting than you?"

He gritted his teeth, as even the memory brought up all manner of rage. "A _bard_."

\---

He had never thought much of entertainers in Mysidia, some of the lesser mages seemed to be quite into them. They were just noise to him, when he was trying to sort out a better way to make ice with more crunch to it.

But now, now it was _war_.

Stupid feathered cap. Stupid singy dingy warbling. Stupid ability to make the girl he had _specifically reserved, everyone saw that_ giggle. Giggle! She could hit like a hammer, she didn't need to _giggle_.

Of course, it did make tactics simpler. Get rid of the bard, get the girl!

\---

"It doesn't work like that."

"And how would you know?"

"'Cause."

"Can't argue with that logic."

\---

He learned more than he learned in months, trying to make the bard disappear. Old dusty tomes and a few things he'd seen monks do--but the opportunities never seemed to present themselves.

The giggling continued, the stupid giggling. It just wasn't _her_.

After waiting outside the main shop in the bushes for a few hours, he finally had that spoony jerk alone.

"HIYA!"

What he had forgot to prepare for was the possibility of a bard fighting _back_.

\---

Anna laughed very loudly.

"I didn't get beaten too badly... really."

Anna laughed louder.

\---

"What did you do?!"

"I just defended myself, this crazy kid jumped out of the bushes at me!"

"Tellah. Why."

"Because you're too good for some... bard!"

The snicker and sudden burst into full laughter was at least better than giggling. And from where he was on the ground, he could almost see up her skirt.

"This is my brother."

"Your what?"

"Brother."

\---

"You tried to beat up Mom's _brother?_ "

"I said I'd tell you the true story, unfortunately the true story shows what an idiot young men can be." Which was the point he was secretly getting at.

"Or that you're just really dumb."

"But it does have a happy ending at least."

 

\---

After the incident she remained combative, which seemed to be her very nature. But there was certain something different about it. He still couldn't touch anywhere near her butt or bosoms without serious injury, but he got to hold her hand once, after he'd finally looked up a flower that wasn't deemed a weed by her.

"You know, you're a really persistent jerk."

"Well you don't act like a lady."

For some reason, that was apparently the right thing to say.

\---

"Awww, Mom took pity on you!"

"No... she... well it might have STARTED like that, but I have charm."

"Uh huh. It's ok. Girls like sensitivity."

Romantic daughters were troublesome. Almost as troublesome as bards.


End file.
